


Dio Brando Fucking Dies: The Movie

by xxxYaOiLoVeRxxx (AmethystScholar)



Category: The Dover Boys, ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: Blowjobs, M/M, Sloppy, i want to die it's 2016 can someone just fucking kill me already
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-09 22:08:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6925234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmethystScholar/pseuds/xxxYaOiLoVeRxxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>i don't know how to feel i don't know i don't know i don't have any emotions anymore i'm nothing but an empty husk of a man</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dio Brando Fucking Dies: The Movie

Dio Brando sat in the crisp autumn air outside Pimento University, fully naked. Nobody was quite exactly sure why he was naked, including the author and his boyfriend. But he was naked nonetheless. Nobody dared to arrest this fearful vampire man for public indecency because he was so HOT.  
“Muda muda muda,” he muttered to himself while trying to bite off his huge horse schlong. This is also a plot point that will not be explained. He was so busy with this task that he did not hear the cry from several feet away.  
“I HATE TOM. I HATE DICK. AND I--”  
Dio interrupted mid-shout.  
“Yes, I hate dick too. That’s why I’m trying to bite it off.”  
Dio glanced over to see an also naked man, one with green skin and a fiendish look in his eye. Dio was immediately aroused.   
The green-skinned man skidded over to Dio in a single animation smear.  
“H A R K,” The man said, poking Dio’s spam stick. “What the fjuck? No you stupid motherfucking bitch, I was talking about the Dover Boys. They drive me to drink (your cum).”  
“How are you doing that?”  
“What? (That’s what she said hue hue)”  
“THAT RIGHT THERE HOW ARE YOU PUTTING PARENTHESES AROUND YOUR WORDS”  
“Alcoholism.”  
“Okay then. I’m Dio Brando, and boy howdy, am I hornyyyyyyRRREEEEEEEEEEEE”  
Dio Brando got on all fours, starting to hump the grass.  
“Well, I’m motherfucking DAN BACKSLIDE, and I can help with that.”  
And with that sentence, Dan Backslide, the villanous rogue of Roquenwhatever Hall, shoved his enormous cock nose into Dio Brando’s cavern of ass glory.  
“YES DAN BACKSLIDE FILL ME WITH YOUR NASAL JOY”  
“OH YOURE A NAUGHTY BOY ARENT YOU”  
“YES DADDY YES FASTER DADDY FASTER”  
Dan spanked Dio over and over again, vomiting blood on his sexy hair.  
“I AM A NAUGHTY LITTLE PAINSLUT,” Dio roared, jumping high into the air for a boner.  
“Dont u fucking dare cum without permission little girl”  
Dio impaled himself on a tree, killing himself instantly.  
And then. Finally.  
Dan Backslide could hear it. The soft guitar music in the background as the world grew sepia. Near Dio’s body, there was a stupid-ass arrow saying “To Be Continued” on it. This was it. His master plan.  
“A runabout!” He said to no one in particular. “I’ll steal it! No one will ever know!”  
And as Dan Backslide ran away with the JJBA theme song, the Dover Boys were having a grand old time with Dora Standpipe.


End file.
